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Self-Care reTREAT

With Kara Jones of the Creative Grief Studioself-care retreat
With Kara Jones of the Creative Grief Studio

Indeed it was a treat to be with Kara Jones of the Creative Grief Studio and other grief support professionals in Pittsburgh, PA on April 23rd. What a great day of delving into our self-care, looking for ways to carry this forward, and finding intersections with our self-care and professional lives.

It has been a long time since I’ve been on a retreat and this one worked for me because of its proximity to home and family. My only regret was how brief it was. (Kara mentioned plans for a longer duration retreat for next year!) If you have the opportunity to go on a retreat, I highly recommend that you go for as long as your budget and schedule will allow. In my experience, it’s rare to get to the end of a retreat (even 7 day ones that I’ve attended) and think, “Gee, I wish that had ended 2 days ago.”

Kara was very skillful in her guided visualizations, bringing the group together for sharing and support, and helping us find the pieces in our insights that we’d like to carry forward. This is really an essential part of a successful retreat: “What are you going to bring forward from this experience into your day-to-day life?”

The first time I went to Kripalu for a yoga and meditation retreat I was filled with the positive vibes of the experience, but the re-entry into my normal life quickly erased it. I was left swooning with the after-effects and unable to grasp onto what I had learned and how I would apply it in my “real” life. (Other experiences at Kripalu have been different and more focused on how you bring the retreat experience and insights forward.)

A few things that I plan to bring forward from this reTREAT are to find places where I’m seen and heard – where each day I can be myself and tend to myself. This tending to ourselves is such a vital aspect of life. This is one of the things I hope I can do for myself and others (and I hope you can too). Let’s give ourselves and others accolades for self-care. We spend a lot of time patting each other on the back for taking care of others – and this is a wonderful thing — but let’s also pat them on the back for taking care of themselves. Because if they don’t take care of themselves, how will they take care of others?

Wishing for you many wonderful retreat experiences with action-oriented insights for your daily life.

 

 

 

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Book Review: Quiet by Susan Cain

Quiet by Susan Cain on introvertsImagine my delight when I discovered this book, Quiet by Susan Cain, which had been on my “To Read” list for months, nestled on my husband’s bookshelf. The idea of a “Quiet Revolution” is hugely appealing to me as a lifetime introvert who fully feels the effects of living in a “world that can’t stop talking.”

There are parts of this book that spoke to my heart — that seemed to understand me at the core. Rather than thinking there is something innately wrong with me, she has shown me that I simply don’t align to the Extrovert Ideal and . . . that’s ok. As an introvert, I have my own set of strengths in terms of how I understand people, delve into details, think deeply, and speak meaningfully.

There are some parts of this book that are not as strong. For example, where Ms. Cain ventures into some psychosocial research that seems to be misinterpreted by her, perhaps pointing out where she stretched beyond her core set of knowledge.

However, those areas do not dampen the overall message of understanding and acceptance. For instance, she has helped me to turn my view of my career and what makes sense for me completely on its head. (You might have read a bit about this in my previous post.) Rather than thinking that some how I’ll thrive in a noisy office with no walls, no privacy, and constant chatter, what if I look for work situations that provide an environment that nurtures thinking and creativity by AT LEAST making quiet recharge events possible?

This is another wonderful insight that Ms. Cain really drives home. That introverts can work highly effectively in an extroverted role as a performer, teacher, or news anchor, however, they will need “restorative niches.” If you’re an introvert, you might notice that you’ve naturally carved those out for yourself. Perhaps you have a reading chair that you go to “get away from it all” and recharge. Or maybe you hide in the basement doing laundry where you know no one will disturb you. Or maybe your recharge time is a dog walk or a quiet drive home from work – radio off, just you and your thoughts.

I also have taken to heart her advice that is actually given for parents whose child is an introvert. She recommends that those children arrive early to parties to acclimate to the setting and to feel in charge of the situation. I have often arrived late at parties out of a certain avoidance of this situation I’m supposed to like, but dread a little. I do fine when I’m there as I’ve had plenty of practice in these situations and it turns out the people are fascinating! However, I’m going to try this arriving early technique at a party I’m attending at the end of the month and see how that feels instead. I can imagine it will be more comfortable for me overall (especially as there are two people attending who I really want to get to know better).

It’s funny to notice people’s reactions to my deepest introverted desires and needs. Some clearly seem offended as if I’m rejecting them and people overall. This is not my intention. I love interacting with people, getting to know them, and sharing experiences and conversation. However, I also love being alone at times and the quiet of the rain upon the roof.

Where do you fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum? Have you read Ms. Cain’s book and joined the Quiet Revolution?

Please let us know in the comments below.

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Reflections on Struggle

Struggle to reach the lightA colleague said to me a few weeks ago, “Life is meant to be a place of flow and harmony. When we struggle, it’s a sign that we’re not doing the right thing – not working in the right place with the right people. When we find that place, the struggle stops. There is still work but it no longer involves struggle.”

This insight has haunted me ever since he spoke those words. You see, struggle has been a central component of my life. Indeed, I have a deeply held belief, and you may too, that if I’m not struggling, then I’m not challenging myself – I’m not going to achieve anything great or significant.

As I dig into this belief, I see that I believe that making money is a struggle. That big things like parenting, and small things like cleaning the house, are both composed of large amounts of struggle. As I explore a long, drawn out career transition that is taking place in my life, I notice a deeply held belief that work itself must be a struggle. It must be hard, stressful, and go against one’s true self.

If you’re thinking I’m crazy, then maybe you’ll want to stop reading at this point. If there is a nugget of truth here for you, perhaps you’d like to read on.

Let’s look at the career piece. I attended a wonderful and challenging liberal arts college. I learned there that, even though I believed I wasn’t as innately smart as my fellow students, through intense hard work, I could succeed in that rigorous intellectual environment as much as they could.

Coming out of that environment, with virtually no career counseling, I ventured out into the world of work. The lack of self-direction that I approached that first career search with has haunted me ever since. Not knowing myself well, not valuing my innate strengths, and not believing in myself have led to a wandering that has been filled with struggle and very little personal satisfaction. Indeed, most of my career satisfaction has always come from side projects and second “jobs.”

By putting struggle, as a value, first – before self-fulfillment, before a higher calling, before the manifestation of my gifts I was meant to bring to the world – has led me to this place. Have there been good things that have come out of struggling? Yes, definitely, I’ve learned things and achieved things. Now, to turn away from struggle and toward harmony instead is, quite honestly, another place of struggle.

Can I embrace my colleague’s view that life is not meant to be a place of struggle? That when we are in the right place, doing the work we were meant to do, and working within the parameters of what we do best, there is no struggle?

Can I live my life from a place of harmony, self-acceptance, and self-confidence? Can I put my gifts first and find that place that values and nurtures them? Can I work hard and yet not struggle?

I’m not sure, but I’m enjoying this paradigm shift. It feels as if I’m standing on the edge of a huge change in my life. I’ll use deep breaths, the love of friends and family, and, of course, Reiki, to take the next steps forward into this life of harmony.

Thanks for reading and reflecting on this topic with me.

~Wishing you an abundance of love, light, and flow.

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Fearlessness and Endless Energy

paragliding, fearlessnessLet’s shatter some myths here. There is no state of ongoing fearlessness or endless energy. One may experience moments of fearlessness or heightened bravery. And one may experience days of bountiful energy. However, these are not states that are fixed (or static) in our human experience.

I started reflecting on all this a couple of weeks ago when I saw a post on the MindBodyGreen website, titled, “’Fearlessness’ Is a Myth: Learn to Control Your Fear Instead.” The trigger for my reflection was the word, “control.” In my experience trying to control one’s emotions leads to a lot of angst and internal conflict.

However, the article is much more balanced and helpful than the title implies. The author, Jennifer Mielke, offers three approaches to working with your fear rather than trying to control it or trying to strive for an unattainable fearlessness. The approaches are:

  1. Get familiar with the ways fear shows up in your life.
  2. Spend some time with your fear.
  3. Appreciate your fear.

Familiarity with fear: I would call that being mindfully aware of your emotions. When you’re mindfully aware, you might notice how certain words, settings, sounds, or experiences trigger fear in you. Then you might notice how that fear shows up in your body. Do your shoulders lift? Does your breath shorten or stop? Does your mind scurry in a fit of “What ifs”?

This exploration is part of what Mielke calls, spending time with your fear. The bodily awareness of your emotional state can be that time as can journaling, exercising, meditating, talking with others, or being in nature.

I really love what she says about appreciating your fear. She notes that fear is a way to put the brakes on. And putting the brakes on is something we all need at times. In our go-go-go culture, fear can be a signal that something needs reassessing. Sometimes the thing we fear is not the thing that needs to be addressed, but it can be a signal that something needs reassessing.

I used parts of this process in a similar way a few weeks ago when I heard in my self-talk a string of judgementalness towards myself, friends, and strangers too. When I asked myself where this was coming from I realized I was bone-tired. This deep fatigue had led me on a fighting mental rant to “shield” my tired self.

I, then, acknowledged my fatigue and instead focused on what I could do to help myself feel more refreshed. I appreciated the mindfulness that led me to this awareness of how things were for me in that moment.

Will I be able to rid myself of fatigue, judgementalness, and fear? Absolutely not. Will I remain aware of them and appreciate them and know that they arise and fall as all things in our human experience? Absolutely yes.

Wishing you the freedom and power of mindful awareness.

 

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Establishing a New Habit

puzzle habitIt’s March. Remember the glow of the New Year that we felt in January? Perhaps you’re also remembering a resolution or two that you set. How are those resolutions going? If some of them were around establishing a new habit – maybe it was related to exercise or healthy eating or meditating more often – it takes awhile for a new habit to take root. (In the popular self-help culture, people usually state that it takes 21 or 28 days to create a new habit.)

If you’re struggling to break through to the new you, it might be time to step back and evaluate what you’re setting out to do. Are you trying to change a lot of things all at once? If yes, that can sometimes be a recipe for failure.

Perhaps, instead try changing one thing at a time. In last month’s Yoga Chicago, Kali Om, wrote about a new intention or habit change each month. I really love this approach and have not seen it promoted elsewhere. To really focus on one change at a time for four weeks, is really helpful.

Some approaches that I have been through, like the Blood Sugar Solution, with a change happening each week, are too rapid. By the fourth week of the seven-week program, you’re so burnt out with trying to change things that you start ignoring the next recommended change. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the Blood Sugar Solution and completely believe in this dietary approach, even for a short time, however, the habit change each week is demotivating. Just doing the dietary and supplement changes that are established early on in the program are enough to focus on and they bring about amazing results.

One can also use Reiki to establish a new habit. When we receive a Reiki session or practice self-Reiki, we can use the calm state that we achieve, to bring about mental clarity and greater focus. During this time of clarity and focus, we can visualize ourselves fully engaged in our new habit. Again, if we break this down to one change at a time, perhaps, one a month, then we can use that time, let’s say weekly sessions for one month, to focus the mind and align our personal energy around our new habit.

How are your changes for 2016 going? Please let us know in the comments below.

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What I learned at the Waterpark: Part 2: Play

water park ride playYou might recall that I wrote a couple of years ago about an insight that arose at a visit to a waterpark around the ebb and flow of emotions even positive emotions. As I approached a recent visit to the land of waterslides I was thinking about play, as in my ability to play and have fun for its own sake. I was reading a lot about the importance of play for ones mental health. So I set an intention for the weekend, “I will play.” (I also planned on observing and evaluating it – but hey, that’s fun for me too.)

Some of the play felt very planned and regulated. In order to do all the fun things we wanted to do in less than two days we had to keep an eye on the clock and move from one thing to another to make sure we got to play the high-tech (though very physical) scavenger hunt, to spend 45 minutes at the arcade, to go to storytime in the evening, to refuel, and (oh yeah!) to enjoy the waterpark. So I would say that the play often felt very regimented and task-oriented. It was enjoyable but didn’t feel like pure play.

There was one afternoon, however, that felt like play. We had a large chunk of time and no activity we had to get to – maybe just a snack later in the afternoon and a shower before dinner. So time was not an issue. We could just experience what we experienced. We could linger over the activities we enjoyed the most. Lots of time in the wave pool – with no purpose, no focus, no reason — then extra times down our favorite slides and multiple times on the lazy river. At least an hour passed, probably more, when I didn’t look at the clock and didn’t care what time it was. I was immersed in the activity and playing – just playing. It was very refreshing.

So, I would say that this is an important component to integrating play back into our adult lives. We need open pockets of time where that is all we’re doing. When it’s play for play’s sake – no clock watching, no other immediate obligations.

If you’re like me, on your average weekend day, that’s difficult to achieve. There are so many obligations that there are only little pockets of playing that are squeezed in while looking at the clock wondering where I need to be next and when I need to switch gears to the next activity.

As I’ve been attempting to do for over a year now, I continue to block a day or half a day per weekend for fun. How is it working? It’s definitely a learning process. I will keep trying.

As an adult, how do you integrate play into your life? Please let us know in the comments below. I look forward to reading your insights!

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Your One-on-One Meditation Session

meditationImagine you’re at home, seated on your sofa or your favorite chair. The house is quiet and you’re feeling really pleased with yourself for taking this time in your day for meditation. You close your eyes, focus your mind, try to find your breath, and then . . . nothing, or a lot of something. A lot of noticing that pain in your knee and the crookedness of your back. Or you can’t stop trying to solve that nagging problem with your computer. Your mind keeps asking, “Why won’t it print?!” Then you remember, “Oh, I’m supposed to be meditating. How am I supposed to do this?”

If this is your meditation practice, a one-on-one session is exactly what you’re looking for. When I work one-on-one with clients we explore what has been working and not working with their practice. Also, we uncover what they hope to achieve by meditating.

There are three main components to the first meditation session:

  1. Reviewing past experiences and the intentions around a meditation practice for you as an individual. This will vary greatly from person to person.
  2. Demonstrating and planning for your at-home practice. We review various sitting positions — their pluses and minuses and explore how to carve out those precious minutes in your day to practice.
  3. We meditate together. Honestly, there is nothing better when it comes to meditating than meditating with at least one other person. Meditating with others makes the practice much easier and often more profound. In a session, I use a guided format that aligns with your intentions and sets you up for ongoing success in your meditation practice.

Subsequent meditation sessions provide a check-in on your progress. I serve as an accountability buddy. What better way to succeed than knowing you have someone to report back to on your journey? Each session, also includes a guided meditation because with each practice we learn more about how to meditate and the workings of our inner selves.

My clients report greater mental clarity and deeper relaxation by cultivating a daily meditation practice. With on-going one-on-one sessions, they have a way to check-in on their practice and achieve a state of deep relaxation. One of my clients has reported that as her practice has grown, she has been able to be calmer in her interactions with her family and more mindful before she speaks. She says that being calm and mindful has deepened her relationship with her children!

Contact me today to schedule your one-on-one meditation session and find out what meditation can do for your life!

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Mindfulness: Current Research

Mindful Meditation BuddhaMany people wonder, why should I meditate? What are the benefits? To me, the short answer is: “Because it works.” Then, of course, the next questions are: “How does it work? How will it help?” Simply put, meditation works by increasing awareness. To be mindful is to be aware of one’s experiences, both internal and external experiences. Mindfulness-based meditation helps one to become aware. By being aware, we are able to make better decisions, manage our mood, and activate more parts of our brain.

Now you may be asking, “But what difference will awareness make? What does the research show in how awareness changes our experiences / our human experience?”

Here’s what the research shows: (Courtesy of mindful.org) *

  • Mindfulness Relieves Anxiety and Improves Mood
    • A review of 39 previous studies involving 1,140 patients, by Professor Stefan Hofmann of Boston University, concluded that mindfulness is effective for relieving anxiety and improving mood.
  • Mindfulness May Keep Brains Young
    • A study by Dr. Eilnee Luders at UCLA School of Medicine, published in NeuroImage, shows that long-term mindfulness practitioners have greater brain volume, stronger neural connections, and less atrophy than non-practitioners. This suggest mindfulness may keep brains young and even help prevent dementia.
  • Mindfulness can lead to better Decision Making
    • A study conducted at the Virginia Tech Carilion Research Institute by Dr. Ulrich Kirk, published in Frontiers in Neuroscience, finds that people who practice mindfulness use different parts of their brains in the decision-making process. This is most visible in their ability to react more rationally, rather than emotionally, when faced with unfair situations.
  • Mindfulness Changes Brain Structure
    • Research published in 2011 in Neuroimaging by Sara Lazar and her team at Massachusetts General Hospital, reveals that an 8-week mindfulness training program makes measurable changes in brain structures associated with learning and memory, sense of self, empathy, and stress.
  • Mindfulness Reduces Stress
    • A study conducted by Britta Holzel at Massachusetts General Hospital, and published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, finds that mindfulness-based stress reduction can lead to structural changes in the amygdala, a brain structure that plays a crucial role in stress responses.
  • Mindfulness Increases Immune Response
    • A study by Richard A. Davidson and Jon Kabat-Zinn, published in Psychosomatic Medicine, indicates that mindfulness increases both positive feelings and antibody responses to immune system challenges.
  • Mindfulness Enhances Attention, Mood, and Memory
    • A 2010 Wake Forest University study, published in Consciousness and Cognition, shows that only 4 days of mindfulness training can enhance the ability to sustain focused attention. It also shows significant improvements in mood, visuo-spatial processing, working memory, and cognition.
  • Mindfulness Reduces Irritable Bowel Syndrome
    • A 2010 Swedish study published in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry finds that 10 weeks of mindfulness training results in a 50% reduction in IBS symptoms, as well as other positive outcomes.
  • And others:
    • A study at Duke University shows that mindfulness can reduce the frequency of binge eating by as much as 75%
    • Patients in recovery for substance abuse at the University of Washington were 50% less likely to relapse if they practiced mindfulness

Two of these studies strongly relate to my experience of practicing mindfulness. For instance, the study of meditators who play the ultimatum game concludes:

“In summary, when assessing unfairness in the Ultimatum Game, meditators activate a different network of brain areas compared with controls enabling them to uncouple negative emotional reactions from their behavior. These findings highlight the clinically and socially important possibility that sustained training in mindfulness meditation may impact distinct domains of human decision-making.” (from: “Interoception drives increased rational decision-making in meditators playing the ultimatum game” Frontiers in Neuroscience, 5:49)

The key phrase here is that they were able to “uncouple negative emotional reactions from their behavior.” This seems to me to be one of the main benefits of mindfulness practices like meditation, yoga, and Reiki. The ability to uncouple my emotions from my actions is embodied when my life is in flow – where I feel in control of myself in the healthiest of ways, i.e., where I am aware of how feel (and feel it) however, I mindfully choose how to act in any given situation. Because I have practiced this dance between emotions and action on my meditation cushion, when the opportunity arises in “real” life situations, I’m able to discern between my emotions and my actions and, more often, choose wisely.

The other study that really spoke to me was the one that examined the experience of participants who trained in mindfulness for only 4 days.

A 2010 Wake Forest University study, published in Consciousness and Cognition, shows that only 4 days of mindfulness training can enhance the ability to sustain focused attention. It also shows significant improvements in mood, visuo-spatial processing, working memory, and cognition. (from “Mindfulness meditation improves cognition: Evidence of brief mental training” Consciousness and Cognition, Volume 19, Issue 2, June 2010, pages 597-605.)

In my experience, it doesn’t take a lot of sessions to start gaining the rewards — of course, the more consistent the practice, the better. It is indeed a practice. The more practices, the greater the rewards. The more automatic the responses become and, as some of these studies point out, one will start to experience changes in physiology, including brain chemistry.

Hopefully, you’ll find this research as compelling as I do and you’ll join us on the cushion today!

Wishing you the gift of awareness!

 

* Resources:

  • Mindfulness Relieves Anxiety and Improves Mood
    • “The Effect of Mindfulness-Based Therapy on Anxiety and Depression: A Meta-Analytic Review” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Volume 78, Issue 2, 2 April 2010, pages 169-183.
  • Mindfulness May Keep Brains Young
    • “The underlying anatomical correlates of long-term meditation: Larger hippocampal and frontal volumes of gray matter” NeuroImage, Volume 45, Issue 3, 15 April 2009, Pgaes 672-678.
  • Mindfulness can lead to better Decision Making
    • “Interoception drives increased rational decision-making in meditators playing the ultimatum game” Frontiers in Neuroscience, 5:49
  • Mindfulness Changes Brain Structure
    • “Mindfulness practice leads to increase in regional brain gray matter density” Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, Volume 191, Issue 1, 30 January 20111, pages 36-43
  • Mindfulness Reduces Stress
    • “Stress reduction correlates with structural changes in the amygdale” Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, Vol. 5, Issue 1, pages 11-17.
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Reiki and Insomnia

Sleeping Girl, insomniaSometimes I wake up at 3:30 a.m. and can’t fall back to sleep. Does this type of insomnia ever happen to you? Is it a crisis for you? Do you lie in bed waiting for the alarm to go off or the sun to come up? Are your first thoughts? “I’m awake already??!! This is going to ruin my day.”

For me, that early wake up can be a gift. Sure, I’m short on sleep for the day and may need to turn in early that evening. And I may be fighting sleep at 4 in the afternoon. The gift, however, is that I get to lie in bed and practice self-Reiki for an hour. This dark, quiet time is an incredible gift. While the house is quiet and my family sleeps, I can do a full hour of self-Reiki – enjoying this self-care practice without being late for work or any other obligation.

Now you may say, “But the Reiki did not cure your insomnia.” That’s true, it did not. I was fully awake and allowed myself to remain awake – I didn’t fight it, I just engaged in a quiet activity that I enjoy. Then you may ask, “But I have chronic insomnia. Will Reiki help with that?” Yes, let’s explore that.

Now, if you’ve been reading this blog you know that Reiki is not a cure-all. However, it is a powerful healing modality and one that can have a positive impact on insomnia. It does so in two ways:

  1. Reiki brings on the relaxation response.
  2. Reiki quiets the mind, which brings about greater awareness and mindfulness, which in turn allows one insight into the underlying issues that may be keeping one awake.

The number one outcome of receiving a Reiki session is relaxation. When we’re relaxed, we sleep better, our bodies heal better, we think more clearly, and we relate to each other more genuinely. My clients who have had insomnia report deep relaxation during their Reiki session and sometimes a deep sleep during the session as well. One client, named Ruth, called me the day after her first session and reported sleeping straight through for 7 hours. She continued to come in for weekly sessions for four weeks and she reported that insomnia became an infrequent occurrence.

The awareness brought about by a Reiki session can also help with insomnia. Another client, named, Abby, was suffering from insomnia that left her with 2-3 hours of sleep per night. She would fall asleep immediately at night and then wake up after a few hours, unable to go back to sleep. After her first Reiki session, she reported feeling very relaxed and refreshed.

When she came back for her second session she said she realized several things about her routine and bedroom that were keeping her awake. She had made some changes including limiting caffeine in the afternoon and (she said this was most important) turning her bed so she no longer faced a window that had a bright street lamp outside of it. She said she also placed a darker curtain over the window. So in this way Reiki helped Abby to mindfully address her insomnia.

How has Reiki helped you with sleep and insomnia?* Please share your comments below.

~Wishing you a deep, restful sleep.

 

*Please note: Reiki is not a cure-all. There are many factors that contribute to a good night’s sleep. What one ate during the day, the level of physical fatigue (has the body been exercised during the day?), have there been relaxation experiences during the day (we can’t expect to know how to relax by practicing once per day while in bed hoping to go to sleep!), and a calm mind that has at least some peace about how things are. There are many more, including medications and physical conditions that interrupt sleep. Please remember that Reiki is just one factor in your self-care toolkit. Though I find it to be a very powerful one, you’ll need to find the one(s) that work for you.  Wishing you abundant good health.

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Challenges: Can you do more?

Healing session in the movie, Kung Fu Panda 3
Healing session in the movie, Kung Fu Panda 3

“If you only do what you can do, you’ll never be better than what you are.”

Master Shifu, in Kung Fu Panda 3

If you’re looking for an entertaining, light film with a generous use of the term, “chi,” then Kung Fu Panda 3 will definitely fit the bill. It’s a continuation of the Kung Fu Panda story, that begins with Po, the Dragon Warrior, receiving a promotion of sorts from Master Shifu. Po will now be responsible for teaching Kung Fu to the other Masters. This creates great angst for Po as he believes he is not prepared for the challenges of teaching the likes of Tigress, Mantis, Crane, Viper, and Monkey. When he protests to Master Shifu, he receives the response above.

Honestly, there were so many times during the film that I thought to myself, “I say that exact thing.” Or, “I just said that yesterday!” Maybe there is not so much of a difference between being a Reiki Master and a Kung Fu Master! Maybe they are just different ways of working with energy and for different purposes.

When Shifu said, “If you only do what you [know you] can do, you’ll never be better than what you are.” I realized I had said the exact same thing (just worded differently) the day before. The women’s running group that I’m a part of was in the midst of wrapping up our January 100-mile challenge and let’s just say, it was very challenging for some of us. For some it was more mileage than we usually log in a month. For some, life got in the way – work schedules, illnesses, and injuries – oh, and frigid temperatures.

As we tried to encourage each other, through online messages about the challenge and our monthly total mileage, I offered the following: “It’s a challenge and therefore challenging. If you only did the challenges you knew you would accomplish, what would be the point?”

Shifu is saying a similar thing. We need to assess what we’re being presented with. Is it a challenge? Why is it challenging for us? What are the barriers? Are you not even starting the challenge because you’ve already determined that you will not, or may not, succeed? What if you try? Is this challenge a choice? Does it speak to you? Does it resonate with your soul? Does it align with your values? What if you did give it a try and didn’t succeed? What would be your worse case scenario then? However, if you never try, you’ll never know what you could possibly do.

So I offer to you today, what challenges are you avoiding? What are you not doing because you’re only doing what you can do? How can you stretch beyond your comfort zone and still align with your values and your true self? (Please let us know in the comments below!)

I know for myself there are running, writing, and teaching challenges ahead for me this year. Will I succeed at all of them? Maybe, maybe not. Though, how else will I know except by trying?

Wishing you the joy of trying.