Join us for the OPRF Community Health and Wellness Fair!
Sunday, April 19th, 12 noon – 4 p.m., Ridgeland Common Recreation Complex, Oak Park
Guest blog post by Jonathan Berens
This is a post by Jonathan Berens, LMT, who is one of my students. He found out about my classes through the Oak Park River Forest Reiki Meetup. I asked him to share his experiences as a man practicing Reiki.
- What got you interested in Reiki? What drew you into it?
“After graduating from massage school, I felt empty. Even though I did very well and proved to myself that I had accomplished a lot, including working full time while attending school, I still felt empty and lost. The school taught and practiced only the western aspect of massage and focused a lot on techniques, including Swedish massage, sports massage, myofascial release, and trigger point therapy to name a few. There was no feeling part. Nothing was taught about energy, energy of the body, or how to learn to work with energy that is within and all around the body of all living things.
“Practicing massage therapy I felt lost. So I decided to immerse myself in many different approaches including muscle energy techniques. The traditional, western massage techniques worked to make the client feel better but nothing lasted. In addition, nothing explained what I was feeling while performing this work. Why did I often feel overwhelmed by people? What was happening that I could feel their pain, discomfort, and felt empathy that was, at times, overwhelming and hard to understand? “
- What is your Reiki practice like now as a level 2 practitioner?
“I practice Reiki daily — offering it to people and their pets. I also practice it on my cats, either directly or through distance Reiki. I use distance Reiki when I am away and I send good health to my cats. Reiki has meshed well with my practice of myofascial release (MFR). MFR encompasses spiritual, physical, and energetic aspects. The subtle energy work of MFR has helped me understand and develop my own intuition and abilities to feel and see energy fields. This has helped immensely with Reiki and its practice and vice versa. As I continue to practice Reiki I am becoming more peaceful within. Each day is less of an emotional roller coaster. If not for Reiki and MFR I doubt I would have pursued my current path in life and would have given up. Much has shifted for me. And much has changed about my beliefs of the world and of myself. “
- How do you work with insights and sensitivities that come from Reiki?
“Men are usually taught to guard, or not show our emotions. I have always been an emotional being. It has always been a struggle hiding my emotions and not being able to effectively cope with the inner turmoil caused by societal expectations. Reiki seemed to help me free myself and allow me to feel, sense, trust my intuition, and finally pay close attention to my inner voice and spirit guides. This is what some people have called, ‘being in touch with my feminine side.’ I believe it to be the inner voice, that part of us that connects to the soul and is not the ego. It has to do with being, and feeling centered, and not operating out of fear and ego. This has been in direct conflict with many male friends. My coping response was to clear out this list of friends who were not there to support me in any way. As painful as this was, it turned out to be what I needed. Reiki only served to strengthen my resolve, and offer a way to cope and help me channel good energy from the universe through myself and to others.”
- Do you have any advice for other men interested in practicing Reiki?
“There are other men who, perhaps, have been afraid to step forward and embrace a better way to live. I believe Reiki offers one path. It asks us to set aside our usual testosterone ego-driven self, and instead listen to the quiet within. This is the part of us we sometimes tap during meditation. I think of Reiki as a way to meditate and bring good energy to ourselves and others. I would say, approach Reiki, embrace it, and allow the inner voice to be heard. This may be hard for men. I have not seen many men practicing Reiki. It’s time for men to open up, relax, and listen quietly to the inner voice. We need to set aside the ego and those damaging beliefs and values that society dictates.”
Jonathan Berens is a licensed massage therapist. He provides wellness and relaxation massages, along with other unique services of massage therapy including trigger point therapy, sports massage, John Barnes’ Myofascial Release, deep tissue work, and Reiki. With a strong background in athletics, including running, cycling, swimming, and strength training, Jonathan brings a wealth of knowledge, expertise and compassion, to his clients as they move towards wellness and freedom from pain.
From Joseph Burgo: The Health Benefits of Friendship
Here’s an infographic by Joseph Burgo about the mental and physical health benefits of friendship. I thought you would enjoy it! (Click on the image to read the full article.)
Source: Fix.com
Vernal Equinox 2015
Happy Spring! Wishing you equilibrium and moments of unparalleled beauty!
Pay Attention! The importance of practicing Reiki
Moments of inattention often lead to life’s mishaps. For instance, recently, I was at an airport and I wanted to clean my glasses while waiting at the gate for my plane. I reached into my Ziploc bag full of small liquid bottles and pulled out what I thought was my lens cleaner. I sprayed my lenses and got busy wiping them clean. However, they didn’t come clean. They had a terrible whitish film over them. Then I realized I had not used the lens cleaner — I had instead used my hairspray. Ugh! How did this happen?! Clearly it was because I wasn’t paying attention. (Fortunately, when I got home I found that an alcohol wipe gently removed the hairspray.) I believe these moments of inattention happen to all of us and are part of our human condition with our monkey minds and our plugged in world.
There are ways, however, to help us pay attention. During Reiki classes, I encourage my students to practice self-Reiki everyday for the next 21 days following their class. As with any new habit, this 21-day time period provides a manageable interval in which to repeat a task in order to make it a habit. During this time, I also encourage my students to journal about their experience. They can write brief passages in their journal, even just one word or a sketch is sometimes enough to capture the experience of their daily Reiki practice. As Reiki Practitioners, this is something we do everyday: we practice self-Reiki. It is easily integrated into one’s life as a morning and evening routine and throughout the day when hands are placed on oneself and the connection is made with universal life-force energy. This connection provides a moment of deep attention. For me, it often brings me out of head and into my body. I notice how I’m sitting, breathing, and feeling in my body in this moment of time.
How does one remember to make the connection? It is through practice. Reiki, like many of life’s endeavors, is a practice. It is a requirement that it must be done over and over again. After a Reiki class, though one is fully attuned and able to practice Reiki, the depth of the practice and the skillfulness of a seasoned practitioner is not yours yet. You must practice. You must practice on yourself daily and on others as often as is possible. Through the practice, you will get to know Reiki. You will notice the flow of energy more. You will experience deeper states of relaxation. You will connect more often with your higher self. Your experience of Reiki will intensify with practice. However, this is often the exact area that is most difficult for students, i.e., the practicing. Reiki, though, is so simple: anytime, anywhere: Hands on, Reiki’s on.
Don’t be fooled by its simplicity! You must practice and when you do, you experience its depth. I recently read the following regarding meditation in the March 2015 issue of Shambhala Sun: Judy Lief writes: “Meditation practice is called ‘practice’ for a reason: just like a singer practicing scales or a yogi practicing downward dogs, the point is repetition, doing the same thing over and over.” For some people, they might think this is very boring, but with Reiki it is not boring because you are not the same from moment to moment and so what you experience and notice will not be the same. Repetition is in the act of placing hands on and noticing. What you notice will be unique to the present moment — to who you happen to be right now.
What have you experienced in your practice of Reiki? How has it helped you to pay attention? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
Top 5 reasons to talk about your grief
When some people hear that I’m a certified creative grief coach, they ask, “Why would I want to talk about my grief?” They think that talking about it will cause them to relive the grief and get stuck there. However, the opposite usually happens and people emerge from grief coaching sessions with the ability to live their lives more fully. If you’re looking for a reason to talk about your grief, here are the top five:
- Holding in your grief is bad for your health. At a minimum, it decreases your immunity and interrupts your sleep patterns.
- Grief keeps us from living wholeheartedly.
- Remembering your loss honors your past, present, and future.
- Talking about grief helps you to process the myriad emotions that you hold.
- You’ll feel better!
If you’re ready to feel better and talk about your grief, please contact me!
Chance to win a free Reiki session
Please complete my Spring survey for a chance to win a free Reiki session. When you complete the survey, you’ll help me to know which programs would be most helpful to you in achieving your wellness goals. Please enter your email address (this step is optional) for a chance to win a free Reiki session.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/YRSLDVK
Thanks for your input!
We don’t diagnose
In every Reiki class that I teach, I say, “We [Reiki Practitioners] don’t diagnose.” It’s an important directive to keep in mind because when we practice Reiki we often notice things about a client’s physical or emotional state. For instance, we may notice that a lot of energy is drawn in at the crown of the head, or that very little energy seems to be drawn in at the stomach, or that the breath deepened when our hands were in the heart region, or that the client was holding a lot of anger or grief inside. Also, a client may ask us at the end of a Reiki session, “What did you notice?” There is a temptation to draw conclusions and make recommendations based on what we sensed and our experience as practitioners. However, it is important not to diagnose for three reasons.
- Most of us are not medical practitioners and we are not licensed to provide a diagnosis. This is a legal issue and we must operate within the realm of our profession.
- When energy is drawn strongly or weakly in a region of the body it does not mean that there is good health or bad health in that area. We really don’t know. All we know is that a lot of energy was (or was not) moving in that area.
- It is much more powerful for a client to come to the diagnosis him/herself. To get there, I often ask the recipient, “What did you feel? What did you notice?” Sometimes I’ll offer in response, “I noticed that too,” but I always follow the client’s lead.
All of these reasons are important, but I think the third reason is really powerful and potentially extremely radical. Imagine if we were the masters of our own bodies — of our own physical experiences. Imagine if we did not seek the wisdom from others who “know” but, rather we go inside and find that wisdom ourselves. If we listened to our intuition and tuned into the richness of our inner lives, I believe, we would find the answers we seek.
I often say, “You live in your body. Your doctor does not. You are the expert on your own experiences. The doctor is an expert on the experiences of a sample of bodies that lived at a unique period of time and agreed to a particular medical study. He or she is not an expert on your unique experience. Only you can be.” I believe this can be a radical and empowering perspective. What if I know what’s best for me and act on it and I don’t seek that from someone else? What choices will I make while I’m healthy and when I’m in the midst of an illness if I’m the expert on my own health?
The stopping point for many people in this journey is at the beginning. They want a diagnosis. They want a name to put on the sensations in their body. They want an identity for their physical selves and their experience that makes them, perhaps, not quite so alone. “Ah, other people feel this. Other people experience this pain and this is what they have done to cope with it. So, then, that’s what I will do too.” It takes the responsibility away from the individual and moves it to someone else. Now an expert provides the “truth” about your body and determines the path to your remedy. Sometimes this works perfectly and there is no reason to even question this approach. However, there are plenty of times when the remedy doesn’t work and we’re left searching for something else.
Perhaps, if we had started off with seeking our diagnosis within ourselves, we would come up with a customized approach that would take into account our unique body and how we live in it. With this remedy just for me, we could create an excellent health experience and make sure it is customized for this unique body that lives this unique life. It’s not to say we don’t benefit from other people’s experiences, rather we blend the potion with the proper dash of “us” to make it work.
What do you think? Could you live in a world where you’re the diagnostician for your own health? What would it look like? How would it be beneficial for you? Please share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below.
Even Reiki Masters get the Blues
I wish it were true that Reiki is a cure-all for human suffering, but it’s not. Even practicing Reiki at the Master level, one still experiences the fullness of life with its highs and lows. However, the difference is that one is able to observe, manage, and detach from the experience of one’s emotions in a healthy way by connecting with universal life-force energy.
For instance, there are days when I am gripped by dark emotions and moving forward is difficult. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do to help myself feel better or what has caused me to feel blue. There is one thing that always helps me to ride the wave of the emotion and that is Reiki. By placing my hands on myself and accessing the energy of the universe, I am able to feel calm and connected. Then from there I’m able to do things that help me to feel better. For instance, I may call a friend, go for a walk, write in my journal, or practice yoga. The Reiki and these actions help me to start moving out of the dark tunnel and into the light of the day.
Reiki is a tool in your self-care toolkit. It helps you feel better and heal better. It helps you take on the ebb and flow of emotions and the injustices of the world and still be your best self. Reiki integrates easily into your life and can support all your goals, including your creative, athletic, relationship, financial, emotional, and health goals.
Try a Reiki session today or learn to practice Reiki by taking a class! Wishing you the love and light of the universe!
Book review: The Dance of Anger
The reading list from my Creative Grief Coach certification course, included, “The Dance of Anger,” by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. This book provides an honest assessment of how women express, repress, and manage their anger. Within the course, it aided us in our work as emotionally intelligent individuals and it helped us gain the skill that we need to bring to our coaching practice. For that practice, it is a helpful guide, because those who are grieving are dealing with a wide array of emotions, including, at times, anger. Also, we grieve in a community. This communal aspect of grief means that there will be multiple relationships touched by our grief journey and some of them may have patterns of anger.
Dr. Lerner presents many helpful techniques to work with anger. However, I’d like to focus on just two of them in this review. The first one is observation. This is an incredibly helpful technique in working with emotions in general. If we can pause and observe our emotional reaction, notice that it is occurring, where it is occurring in our body, and, then, with discernment, choose what we say and do in that moment, then this helps us with our emotional health and our relationships in general. I believe in the power of this for several reasons, including that it puts us first for a moment. I’m saying this as a woman who has bit her tongue and held her words back more than is probably prudent. I am not alone in this — many women do this and Dr. Lerner’s book is speaking to us — those who hold back and those who don’t. (Definitely, there are men who have this same emotional pattern, but this book focuses on women’s experiences.) Whatever, your pattern — hold back or not — observation is a helpful first step.
Another technique or directive from this book, that I find very helpful (and it is often a trigger for anger) is our desire to change another person. This pattern of trying to fix others comes from a place of over functioning. The healthier approach, if one desires change, is to change oneself. If you’re like me, that takes your breath away. “What? Me? Change?!” Dr. Lerner presents many examples in her book of women who stopped trying to change another person in their life and changed themselves instead. This takes introspection and courage. As with the first technique it requires that we notice that we’re in a pattern of trying to change another person, then making a conscious effort not to try to do that any more, and then, finally, changing ourselves in a meaningful and healthy way. Ironically, of course, because we are in a relationship, the other person often changes as well. Maybe not in the exact way that we would have prescribed, but as a reaction to the way we’ve changed.
If you’re looking to refine your steps in the dance of anger, I highly recommend Dr. Lerner’s book.
