Just Relax

Have you ever been told to, “just relax”? This well-meaning piece of advice is one of the more useless directives that can come our way. Sure it’s probably true that in that moment, and many others, that we do need to relax. However, when we’re in the grip of fear, anxiety, or anger, relaxing is often the hardest thing to do and it’s definitely not something we can pull off “just” like that – like choosing the 2% milk over the skim milk.

You see, relaxing is not always easy. It is not something that most of us can just switch on and off. Especially in our high-speed, over-scheduled, multi-tasking world, relaxing needs to be practiced. Mercifully, there are many ways to practice relaxation. Some of the healthier approaches include, yoga, meditation, prayer, Reiki, massage, acupuncture, and many others.

The more we practice relaxation the easier it is to call up this relaxed response. It becomes like muscle memory for an athlete or musician, through practice the muscles remember how to throw the ball and reach for the chord. The same is true for relaxation. The more we practice it the easier it is for our bodies to relax, for our muscles to sink down and release, for our heart rate to slow, for our breath to deepen, for our minds to see the positive opportunity, and for our spirits to connect to the calm deep within us.

Once, while in the dentist chair for a particularly long stretch of dental work, I had my hands on my upper legs and continued to offer myself Reiki and to send Reiki energy into the room. As I sat in the chair, I felt the peace of a deep savasana (the relaxation pose at the end of a yoga class). Every muscle in my body became heavy and I felt deeply attached to the chair. My breath was slow and deep even as the noise, pressure, and drilling continued around me I was able to relax.

Can I do this all the time? Hey, I’m not perfect, but I do know that this is the dividend from consistent practice of relaxation techniques in whatever form you practice them (Reiki, meditation, yoga, etc., etc.). The payoff is that in the chaos of the external world, in the pressures put on ourselves from our demanding lives and our perfectionist minds, there is a place of peace.

The queue for me is not the phrase, “just relax,” – in my mind, it’s usually, “Breathe” or “Notice” or “Reiki, Reiki, Reiki” but these queues help me quickly access the relaxation that I have been practicing on a daily basis.

So, what works for you? How do you, “just relax”?

Wishing you the peace of the universe!

Working with Grief through Reiki and Connection

Recently a client who was filled with grief said to me, while she was lying on the Reiki table, “You know I really don’t believe in this.” I reassured her that it is not necessary to believe in Reiki for it to work. I then asked her what she had heard about Reiki. She said, “That it is relaxing.” Then we had our ground for agreement: Reiki is relaxing.  I went on to say, “When we are relaxed:

  • we heal more quickly
  • think more clearly
  • act more mindfully
  • and we’re more creative.”

She nodded her head in agreement and said, “I think stress is worse for your health than eating junk food.”

This type of conversation reminds me of this quote from my Creative Grief Coaching Certification program:

Learning process of grief

When we trust and believe we are more resilient, resourceful, and creative. Furthermore, trusting and believing open us to the possibility of connecting with others.  Through connection we turn our backs on shame, which is an emotion often tied with the grieving process and can cause us to be stuck in our grief.

In the Creative Grief Coaching program we have been exploring shame. It is the topic of Brene Brown’s book, “I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t),” which is filled with heart-opening stories from her extensive research on shame. The stories are often very easy to relate to and heart breaking, at times, too. As we connect with each other we find that, “It isn’t just me. Other women experience the same challenges with their bodies, relationships, and money.” Through this connection we can overcome fear, blame, and shame and work creatively in our grief process.

Reiki is a wonderful tool for our lives as we work with grief and seek ways to relax and connect.  With it we can find the way to open our hearts and connect with ourselves, others, and the universe. We can heal faster, think more clearly and creatively, and act more mindfully.

Reiki for Athletes at Northwood University

Northwood Basketball teamOn October 25th, I had the honor of presenting a workshop on Reiki to the men’s basketball team at Northwood University in West Palm Beach, Florida. It was a great opportunity to discuss the practical application of Reiki for athletes. The focus of my presentation was on how Reiki helps with relaxation and focus. In order to face a competitive event, athletes seek relaxation and require intense focus to create an atmosphere for optimal performance.

In addition to relaxation and focus, we talked about how when you are trained in Reiki and you’re in a situation where, for example, a referee makes a bad call during a game, Reiki can help. Imagine you’re on the bench and feeling angry about the call. Doing self-Reiki can bring about calm and allow you to refocus on your goals for the game.

Another example, was how Reiki can be combined with visualization to improve an athletic skill. I talked about how I use it for my erratic tennis serve. With visualization, I use Reiki to imagine a well-timed, accurate serve, and a ball toss that is in the ideal spot. All this brings about focus and a state of calm where my body and mind work in sync for the ideal outcome.

Each player who wanted to, received a sample of Reiki on his shoulders for about 5 minutes or less.  Here’s some of their feedback: one player said, “I still feel your hands on my shoulders and that was 15 minutes ago.”  A couple of them said, “I feel a pleasant tingling sensation on my shoulders.”  Some of the coaches received a sample treatment as well.

Reiki helps to facilitate mental clarity and focus. It is also an excellent way to facilitate the body’s healing process. There were a number of athletes at the workshop working with physical injuries. I explained that Reiki goes where it is needed but, during sample treatments, also placed hands on knees and the top of the head for two athletes who preferred that to address their acute injuries.

Reiki is an excellent tool for athletes to facilitate relaxation and focus. If you’re an athlete, please share your experience with Reiki in the comments below!

 

(I extend my gratitude to all those who coordinated the Reiki workshop  on 10/25/14 at Northwood University, Florida.)

 

 

My Reiki Journey

My Reiki journey began in 2001.  I was filled with stress from my work and was seeking relaxation.  I had tried a number of modalities, but was still seeking the “right” solution.  Then I saw an ad for Elaine Floriolli’s Reiki practice in Wilmington, Delaware.  In her ad she used a series of hand images that aligned in pairs in a vertical direction.  For some reason I was drawn to this ad and to Reiki.

I went to my first Reiki appointment with no knowledge of the practice or what was involved.  Trusting my intuition (for a change) I went to Elaine.  She explained Reiki to me and I eagerly hopped on the massage table ready for my session.  It was delightful and very relaxing.

Now, to be honest, here’s the part that my left brain has trouble admitting to, and I apologize to all my left-brained friends who may read this, but this is what I experienced.  During the session, I kept seeing, in my mind’s eye, angels, who were children, flying up in front of me.  Circling around me as I laid on the table.  Playfully dancing around me, flying and delighting.  I felt as if I was floating above the table.

After the session, I recounted my experience to Elaine and she smiled knowingly.  I did feel very relaxed.

The next time I went to Elaine’s for an appointment, I was exiting the highway when a hawk swooped across the windshield in the same manner the angels had.  It was unharmed and I was drawn deeper into my Reiki journey.

Wishing you light and peace.

[twitter-follow screen_name='u_r_reiki']