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How would my higher self act?

PeonyRecently, I had the opportunity to participate in some real world acting.  Not on a stage, not in front of any type of camera, just face-to-face behaving completely opposite of how I was feeling. This can be super challenging for me because I don’t have a poker face, though I’m pretty skillful at the attempt to hide my emotions. In this particular case I had to keep my game face on and act as if everything was a-ok, maybe even great.  (During my Creative Grief Coaching certification course, there was an insightful conversation on the “barometer” of tears. Mine usually runs on the lower end, but for others tears come quite easily and at a high volume.)

It wasn’t easy acting this way and there were times when I thought I would lose it.  I was afraid I would say what I was really feeling or breakdown and cry. I definitely didn’t want to make the people around me uncomfortable and I wanted to appear as professional and “buttoned up” as I could be.  (Fascinating expression, “buttoned up,” as I really felt like my lips were buttoned shut and my real face was hiding behind a mask.)

Periodically, I would encourage myself by saying in my mind, “Act the way your higher self would act.” I’m not entirely sure why this worked, but it did. I immediately felt calmer, less focused on my emotions, and as if I was on a mission to do a noble and honorable thing by acting in this way. I would take opportunities to remind myself — while I was at the mirror in the bathroom, drinking some water, taking a mini self-Reiki break, or about to step through a doorway — “Act the way your higher self would act.” It helped me to release my focus on my emotions and visualize how I’d like the situation to go:  Me being professional, calm, and in control.

I have to admit that a couple of days into this exercise I was feeling particularly worn down by the effort. My calm was fading and I felt on the verge of tears. Fortunately, a request for Absent Reiki was immediately answered by my friend Nancy, of Lyrical Healing in Oak Park.  Now here’s another confession.  Things were going well for the next several hours and I had a break in my day to reflect.  I suddenly realized I had requested the Reiki and soon after had felt very calm — back to my ideal self. Honestly, though, I had forgotten about the Reiki request — however, it still worked! Yes, it works — even on this subconscious level.

Grateful for the Reiki, my friend, and the answered calls to my higher self, I was able to carry on in the way I wanted to in this situation. When the time (and audience) was right, the tears and emotions flowed. It was great to know I could be an actress when needed and achieve the ideals of my higher self.

What are your some of your experiences with calling on your higher self?  Please share them in the comments below.

 

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We live and die by the clock

Cast Away“Time rules over us without mercy. Not caring if we’re healthy or ill. Hungry or drunk. Russian, American, beings from Mars. . . . we live or we die by the clock. We never turn our back on it and we never ever allow ourselves the sin of losing track of time.” from Cast Away

Time: It is precious and fleeting.  There are people who exhort us to waste time — to kick back and have a good time.  Then there are people who pressure us to live every moment to the fullest — to seize the moment and “go for it” at every turn. Of course, there are time management experts and many, many songs that center around the passage of time.

For me, the finite aspect of our time on earth can be a real motivator. I’m a person who likes to think things through and reflect on my decisions before I leap into action. Over the years, however, I’ve noticed that sometimes I spend so much time in my reflection mode that the opportunity disappears. This has led me to adopt a favorite mantra, “Do it now.”

This can be applied in all types of situations and is not just for life’s “big” decisions. For instance, my family and I were in our backyard admiring a spring flower that blooms for only a couple of weeks.  We knew that we wanted to take a picture of it to remember its beauty and we said aloud, “We’ll do that later.” I noticed the pattern and I remembered the many photographs that are only pictures in my mind because I hesitated or thought I’d do it at another time. So instead I said, “No, let’s do it now.  There are too many photos I’ve missed because I thought I’d do it later.”

“Do it now” is also helpful for life’s bigger decisions like where to go on vacation, which job to take, and whether or not to try your hand at Tae Kwon Do or hiking the Appalachian Trail or whatever other ambitious task might be on your bucket list. There will never be a “good” or convenient time for a month on the Trail and there probably will never be the ideal economic conditions for going to Bora Bora, but if these are things that will make your life meaningful to you, then I say, “Do it now.”

Perhaps this is bad advice and the savers among us will say, “Plan, be careful, you never know.”  Well, it’s true, you never do know.  You never know when your time on this earth will cease and you never know when the opportunity in front of you now will come again. Living here and now and staying true to your highest intentions and your higher self are good guides for this life. Knowing that this moment might not happen again helps me to live from a place of gratitude and of heightened awareness. When I’m gratefully aware of the goodness in this moment, I can soften around it and choose what needs to be done now.

How do you live from a “Do it now” perspective?  Is the finite aspect of time a motivator for you? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Reiki’s Effectiveness: More Anecdotal Evidence

stone-black-and-whiteAs promised a few weeks ago, I am sharing some more stories that demonstrate the effectiveness and application of Reiki. I hope you find these stories helpful in understanding how Reiki works and its practical application as a complementary practice in your health care toolkit. (In the stories below, the clients’ names have been changed to maintain anonymity.)

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Lisa, a 55-year-old woman who had recently completed radiation and chemotherapy treatment for cancer, came to my office for a Reiki session seeking more energy in her day-to-day life. When I asked her at the beginning of the session what more energy would look like for her, she said that it would be reading a book in her comfy chair in the living room after dinner and not falling asleep right away. So we set our minds on this image and I offered Reiki to her through a regular one-hour session.

The following week, Lisa returned for another Reiki session. She said she had more physical energy after receiving Reiki, was able to read in the evening without falling asleep right away, and was even able to work in the garden for more than an hour at a time.  She went on to receive a series of four sessions and relished the increase in her physical energy and how it improved the quality of her life.

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Renee, a breast cancer patient, was experiencing peripheral neuropathy in her feet and hands as a side effect of her chemotherapy. The neuropathy in her feet was almost constant and it was impacting her sense of balance. She often felt as if she would fall when she was standing and stairs were particularly challenging for her. The unpredictability of the neuropathy also caused her anxiety about when she might be feeling off balance. This caused her to stay close to home and to keep close to walls when she was walking.

After her first Reiki session, she sat up from the massage table and smiled, saying, “The tingling is gone!” She was so pleased with the return to normal sensation in her hands and feet! Over the next several months, Renee received weekly one-hour Reiki sessions. She found that the frequency of the bouts of neuropathy decreased and her balance improved. In addition, she was looking forward to practicing Tai Chi again as she felt more balanced and strong.  Renee credited the Reiki with helping to complete her recovery from chemotherapy.

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The anectodal evidence presented here, and elsewhere in this blog, will hopefully help you to understand how Reiki can be used to help your body heal.

I’d love to hear your stories about receiving or offering Reiki.  Please share them in the comments below.

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Book Review: Healing through the Dark Emotions

Miriam Greenspan dark emotions quoteOne of the wonderful books that was part of studying with the Creative Grief Studio, was Miriam Greenspan’s, “Healing through the Dark Emotions.” In this book Ms. Greenspan guides us in living with our grief, fear, and despair. There is so much profundity in this book that it’s difficult to summarize it all here. However, there are two areas that I’d like to focus on: 1. That our dark emotions are a necessary part of being human. 2. When we shun the dark emotions, they have a way of bubbling up in other ways.

In our “power of positive thinking” culture there is little room for the dark part of our emotional lives. Let’s take grief as an example. When someone is living with grief over the loss of a loved one, there are so many restrictions put on their time with grief. There is almost an “Are you over that yet?” mentality as if losing someone is something that one ever gets over.  One of the things that conspires to create a timeline for our grief is workplace bereavement leave policies. Certain deaths warrant a specific period of leave according to these policies and yet rarely do these exceed four or five days.

In addition, the mental health profession has struggled with the distinction between normal bereavement and a major depressive episode in part because they can resemble each other so much and sometimes one does in fact lead to the other. The current DSM puts a short timeline of two-weeks on the grieving process after which the grief is considered complicated and can qualify as a major depressive disorder. This rush to be done with grieving and to get on with our normal lives (which are no longer normal for us because of our loss) creates a situation where one feels isolated and ashamed of the very normal emotion that they are facing — grief. Ms. Greenspan shows us in her book, how if we stay with the dark emotion, if we feel the grief and don’t automatically push it away, then we’ll come to place of wisdom and gratitude. This place is not one where grief is absent, but, rather, one where we can live with it as a truth-teller in our lives.

The second area that I’d like to explore is how when we shun despair, fear, or grief, they have a way of reappearing in our lives. When despair is dismissed, Ms. Greenspan notes that it transmutes in our lives as depression. She writes: “Depression, as I see it, is unalchemized despair. It’s what happens when despair becomes chronically stuck in the body. Depression is certainly not a medical condition in the way that heart disease is. Rather, what we call depression is a culturally acceptable concept for chronic, toxified despair.” (page 124)  She invites us to go deeper into our selves by accepting the dark but fertile aspects of ourselves, examining the depth of our lives and those who came before us, and moving in this world with knowledge about ourselves and faith in our ability to journey with despair.

Another area where we as a culture show our shunning of the dark emotions is with our fascination with violent movies. Ms. Greenspan states that those who view these movies are seeking to feel something on a deeper level. To feel the fear and despair that they have been told are not acceptable. When they view these movies they are allowed to feel these emotions through a socially acceptable form of “entertainment.”

Each section of “Healing through the Dark Emotions” includes suggestions for working with grief, fear, and despair.  (To my delight, she is a fan and practitioner of Reiki as one of the tools for this work.)   I highly recommend reading the book for its profound insights and its helpful suggestions for the healing path.  I’ll leave you with a quote that seems to summarize her approach:

“Your life exactly as it is contains just what is needed for your own journey of healing through the dark emotions. It starts with learning to listen to your heart.” (page 13)

Wishing you heart-filled conversations in your healing journey.

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Reiki is not pseudoscience

Recently, I was navigating to my website using my iPhone’s Safari browser and as I typed the URL a Google search result came up showing the Wikipedia entry for Reiki. It stated that Reiki is “a form of pseudoscientific alternative medicine.” I was so surprised by this statement and have resolved to assist in the editing of it. When I do so, I will be sure to remove the term, “pseudoscience.”

The reason for this is that Reiki is not pseudoscience. In order for it to be pseudoscience, it would have to be based on the scientific method and clearly it is not. As Pamela Miles says so well:  Reiki is a spiritual healing practice. I love science and I love Reiki, but they are separate things. I can believe in both and that does not degrade one or the other. Reiki works in the same way that other lifestyle changes work that bring about relaxation, that decrease pain, and improve one’s mood.

As Reiki practitioners, it’s important that we remember, and that we’re clear in our communications, that Reiki is not science. It is not based on the scientific method and yet we know through our experiences and those of our clients that it works and it facilitates the natural healing abilities of the mind, body, and spirit.

How do you talk about Reiki to your friends, family, colleagues, and clients? Are there explanations that you find more effective than others? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Here are some helpful articles that continue this discussion:

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Just Relax

Have you ever been told to, “just relax”? This well-meaning piece of advice is one of the more useless directives that can come our way. Sure it’s probably true that in that moment, and many others, that we do need to relax. However, when we’re in the grip of fear, anxiety, or anger, relaxing is often the hardest thing to do and it’s definitely not something we can pull off “just” like that – like choosing the 2% milk over the skim milk.

You see, relaxing is not always easy. It is not something that most of us can just switch on and off. Especially in our high-speed, over-scheduled, multi-tasking world, relaxing needs to be practiced. Mercifully, there are many ways to practice relaxation. Some of the healthier approaches include, yoga, meditation, prayer, Reiki, massage, acupuncture, and many others.

The more we practice relaxation the easier it is to call up this relaxed response. It becomes like muscle memory for an athlete or musician, through practice the muscles remember how to throw the ball and reach for the chord. The same is true for relaxation. The more we practice it the easier it is for our bodies to relax, for our muscles to sink down and release, for our heart rate to slow, for our breath to deepen, for our minds to see the positive opportunity, and for our spirits to connect to the calm deep within us.

Once, while in the dentist chair for a particularly long stretch of dental work, I had my hands on my upper legs and continued to offer myself Reiki and to send Reiki energy into the room. As I sat in the chair, I felt the peace of a deep savasana (the relaxation pose at the end of a yoga class). Every muscle in my body became heavy and I felt deeply attached to the chair. My breath was slow and deep even as the noise, pressure, and drilling continued around me I was able to relax.

Can I do this all the time? Hey, I’m not perfect, but I do know that this is the dividend from consistent practice of relaxation techniques in whatever form you practice them (Reiki, meditation, yoga, etc., etc.). The payoff is that in the chaos of the external world, in the pressures put on ourselves from our demanding lives and our perfectionist minds, there is a place of peace.

The queue for me is not the phrase, “just relax,” – in my mind, it’s usually, “Breathe” or “Notice” or “Reiki, Reiki, Reiki” but these queues help me quickly access the relaxation that I have been practicing on a daily basis.

So, what works for you? How do you, “just relax”?

Wishing you the peace of the universe!

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How effective is Reiki?

Reiki sessionPeople come to Reiki sessions for a variety of reasons. Some people come with a strong belief in the practice and no doubt in their minds. However, others arrive wondering why they’re there and how effective Reiki will be for their particular ailment. For those who are doubting the practice, I say to them that people find Reiki very relaxing. When the body is relaxed it heals faster. When the mind is relaxed, it thinks more clearly and creatively. When the spirit is relaxed, it makes stronger connections to others.

If you’re looking for quantifiable evidence about the efficacy of Reiki, I don’t have that information. However, I do have years of experience in practicing this hands-on healing modality on myself and others. From my experience as both a recipient and a practitioner, I know Reiki works. To demonstrate this, I’ll share some anecdotal evidence through the stories below. (All names have been changed to maintain anonymity.)

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Carole, a breast cancer patient, arrived for a Reiki session with a cold. She had never had Reiki before and was quite distressed because she thought the severity of her cold was great enough that her mastectomy may have to be rescheduled. She indicated that her family thought she was crazy to try Reiki and she was quite doubtful too. I told her that it was fine to be doubtful and that the state of relaxation that would be brought about by the Reiki is very healing. She settled into the session and left the office feeling relaxed.  A few weeks later Carole contacted me for another session. When she arrived at my office she reported that the surgery had gone well and according to schedule. She said, “You cured my cold!”* and went on to report that her medical team was in awe with the minimal amount of pain medication that she needed post-surgery. She also went home one day earlier than had been scheduled and had found out that no additional chemotherapy was needed at this time. Carole credited all these positive outcomes to Reiki.

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Norma, a working mom, had heard about Reiki from a friend. She was seeking relief for a variety of symptoms including anxiety and fibromyalgia that caused acute pain in her hands and jaw. She regularly saw her doctor who helped to manage her symptoms and she was seeking to avoid surgery for a side effect from the fibromyalgia. In addition to conventional medicine, Norma also went for massage therapy and acupuncture. She saw Reiki as complementary with all the other things she was using to manage her health.  When I asked her what she wanted most from the session, she indicated that she wanted to be calm and peaceful. She was distressed by the amount of anxiety she experienced at work and how impatient she was with her husband and daughter. After the session, Norma reported feeling very relaxed. Two weeks later she came back for another session and said that the relaxation from the Reiki lasted for a full week. Over the next few months, Norma came for a one-hour Reiki session every other week. She said that the Reiki kept her steady and calm and her doctor’s most recent recommendation was that surgery was not required at this time.

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Over the next few weeks, I’ll share more anecdotes from my Reiki practice. I hope that you find them helpful in understanding the effectiveness and application of Reiki.

 

 

* Please note: I don’t cure colds, but the Reiki provided a pathway for Carole’s body to heal her cold.

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Guest blog post by Jonathan Berens

Jonathan Berens, LMT, Reiki Practitioner
Jonathan Berens, LMT, Reiki Practitioner

This is a post by Jonathan Berens, LMT, who is one of my students. He found out about my classes through the Oak Park River Forest Reiki Meetup. I asked him to share his experiences as a man practicing Reiki. 

  1. What got you interested in Reiki? What drew you into it?

“After graduating from massage school, I felt empty. Even though I did very well and proved to myself that I had accomplished a lot, including working full time while attending school, I still felt empty and lost. The school taught and practiced only the western aspect of massage and focused a lot on techniques, including Swedish massage, sports massage, myofascial release, and trigger point therapy to name a few. There was no feeling part. Nothing was taught about energy, energy of the body, or how to learn to work with energy that is within and all around the body of all living things.

“Practicing massage therapy I felt lost. So I decided to immerse myself in many different approaches including muscle energy techniques. The traditional, western massage techniques worked to make the client feel better but nothing lasted. In addition, nothing explained what I was feeling while performing this work. Why did I often feel overwhelmed by people? What was happening that I could feel their pain, discomfort, and felt empathy that was, at times, overwhelming and hard to understand? “

  1. What is your Reiki practice like now as a level 2 practitioner?

“I practice Reiki daily — offering it to people and their pets. I also practice it on my cats, either directly or through distance Reiki. I use distance Reiki when I am away and I send good health to my cats. Reiki has meshed well with my practice of myofascial release (MFR). MFR encompasses spiritual, physical, and energetic aspects. The subtle energy work of MFR has helped me understand and develop my own intuition and abilities to feel and see energy fields. This has helped immensely with Reiki and its practice and vice versa. As I continue to practice Reiki I am becoming more peaceful within. Each day is less of an emotional roller coaster. If not for Reiki and MFR I doubt I would have pursued my current path in life and would have given up. Much has shifted for me. And much has changed about my beliefs of the world and of myself. “

  1. How do you work with insights and sensitivities that come from Reiki?

“Men are usually taught to guard, or not show our emotions. I have always been an emotional being. It has always been a struggle hiding my emotions and not being able to effectively cope with the inner turmoil caused by societal expectations. Reiki seemed to help me free myself and allow me to feel, sense, trust my intuition, and finally pay close attention to my inner voice and spirit guides. This is what some people have called, ‘being in touch with my feminine side.’ I believe it to be the inner voice, that part of us that connects to the soul and is not the ego. It has to do with being, and feeling centered, and not operating out of fear and ego. This has been in direct conflict with many male friends. My coping response was to clear out this list of friends who were not there to support me in any way. As painful as this was, it turned out to be what I needed. Reiki only served to strengthen my resolve, and offer a way to cope and help me channel good energy from the universe through myself and to others.”

  1. Do you have any advice for other men interested in practicing Reiki?

“There are other men who, perhaps, have been afraid to step forward and embrace a better way to live. I believe Reiki offers one path. It asks us to set aside our usual testosterone ego-driven self, and instead listen to the quiet within. This is the part of us we sometimes tap during meditation. I think of Reiki as a way to meditate and bring good energy to ourselves and others. I would say, approach Reiki, embrace it, and allow the inner voice to be heard. This may be hard for men. I have not seen many men practicing Reiki. It’s time for men to open up, relax, and listen quietly to the inner voice. We need to set aside the ego and those damaging beliefs and values that society dictates.”

Jonathan Berens is a licensed massage therapist. He provides wellness and relaxation massages, along with other unique services of massage therapy including trigger point therapy, sports massage, John Barnes’ Myofascial Release, deep tissue work, and Reiki. With a strong background in athletics, including running, cycling, swimming, and strength training, Jonathan brings a wealth of knowledge, expertise and compassion, to his clients as they move towards wellness and freedom from pain.