Recently, I had the opportunity to participate in some real world acting. Not on a stage, not in front of any type of camera, just face-to-face behaving completely opposite of how I was feeling. This can be super challenging for me because I don’t have a poker face, though I’m pretty skillful at the attempt to hide my emotions. In this particular case I had to keep my game face on and act as if everything was a-ok, maybe even great. (During my Creative Grief Coaching certification course, there was an insightful conversation on the “barometer” of tears. Mine usually runs on the lower end, but for others tears come quite easily and at a high volume.)
It wasn’t easy acting this way and there were times when I thought I would lose it. I was afraid I would say what I was really feeling or breakdown and cry. I definitely didn’t want to make the people around me uncomfortable and I wanted to appear as professional and “buttoned up” as I could be. (Fascinating expression, “buttoned up,” as I really felt like my lips were buttoned shut and my real face was hiding behind a mask.)
Periodically, I would encourage myself by saying in my mind, “Act the way your higher self would act.” I’m not entirely sure why this worked, but it did. I immediately felt calmer, less focused on my emotions, and as if I was on a mission to do a noble and honorable thing by acting in this way. I would take opportunities to remind myself — while I was at the mirror in the bathroom, drinking some water, taking a mini self-Reiki break, or about to step through a doorway — “Act the way your higher self would act.” It helped me to release my focus on my emotions and visualize how I’d like the situation to go: Me being professional, calm, and in control.
I have to admit that a couple of days into this exercise I was feeling particularly worn down by the effort. My calm was fading and I felt on the verge of tears. Fortunately, a request for Absent Reiki was immediately answered by my friend Nancy, of Lyrical Healing in Oak Park. Now here’s another confession. Things were going well for the next several hours and I had a break in my day to reflect. I suddenly realized I had requested the Reiki and soon after had felt very calm — back to my ideal self. Honestly, though, I had forgotten about the Reiki request — however, it still worked! Yes, it works — even on this subconscious level.
Grateful for the Reiki, my friend, and the answered calls to my higher self, I was able to carry on in the way I wanted to in this situation. When the time (and audience) was right, the tears and emotions flowed. It was great to know I could be an actress when needed and achieve the ideals of my higher self.
What are your some of your experiences with calling on your higher self? Please share them in the comments below.